Mix Up
by atlantisXgirl
Summary: Kirk and McCoy have a bit of a wardrobe malfunction, and it amuses everyone.


**Just a fun, pointless little fic inspired by "Barely dressed" by beanrox. **

**Warning for mild slash. I guess, does a kiss really count as slash?**

**Anyway, Enjoy.**

James Kirk groggily opened his eyes and glanced at the clock on the bedside table. The glowing blue numbers came together to form 2:20am.

_Shit _Kirk thought sitting up. He was supposed to be at the bridge with the new beta shift in 10 minutes, and if he wasn't there to watch them, chances were they would over shoot their destination and warp them into the wrong galaxy...for the 3rd time. Sighing Kirk jumped out of bed and began searching for his clothes.

"Lights, 25%" he whispered.

Nothing

"Lights, 25%"

Still nothing.

"Lights broken" called a voice from under the covers Kirk had just been wrapped up in.

"Really? I thought they were just deaf!" Kirk replied sarcastically still searching for his lost clothes.

"Don't take that tone with me" the person said rolling over in bed.

"You liked it last night"

"It still is night you idiot"

"Yeah well...have you seen my shirt?" Kirk asked pulling on his new found pants.

"Floor" the voice replied again.

"Oh thank you, Dr. Obvious. I thought it was going to be in the shower" the young captain began looking around the pitch-black floor for his shirt.

_Dammit I'm going to be late, where the he'll is my shirt…it's yellow for Christ's sake I should be able to see it!_

Suddenly he felt the distinctive fabric of his command shirt under his fingers.

"Yes!" he yelled pulling it over his head.

"Good now get out of my room"

"You don't want me here? I'm hurt." Kirk called walking out of the room.

"Yeah whatever you say, Jim" the voice called after him.

"Go back to bed Bones...you're no fun when you're tired"

**X X X**

Kirk stepped out of the CMOs room and began walking (no, running) through the Enterprise's thankfully empty halls, trying to be a quite as possible. The only other people that would be up consisted of, him, the beta shift and hopefully LT Uhura who had promised to help Kirk train the new kids.

In his hurry to get to the bridge as fast as possible Kirk skidded around a corner and straight into his first officer, knocking him down in the process.

"Oh crap Spock my bad" Kirk called over his shoulder, already dashing around another corner.

"Captain" Spock said in a tone that was more of a statement than a question.

"What? Kinda in a hurry Spock" the captain called glancing around the corner.

"I was simply inquiring as to why..."

Before Spock had a chance to finish his sentence Kirk it him off. "Totally not in the mood for big words right now...get to the point"

"Never mind, captain"

After a slight eyebrow raise, Spock turned and walked away without another word.

Kirk brushed off the incident as simply the normal nature of his first officer. Sliding into the turbolift Kirk attempted to wipe the tired expression from his face, but was sure he was failing.

The door of the turbolift whooshed open and Kirk stepped out extremely disappointed to see his Alfa shift navigator and helmsmen still sitting at their posts, while Uhura was nowhere in sight.

"Sulu, Chekov what the hell are you still doing here?"

"McKenna and Riley newer showed up keptin" Chekov responded not turning around but instead sending an apologetic look towards Sulu.

"Yeah those guys were supposed to be here 5 hours ago" Sulu's input was anything buy helpful.

Kirk plopped down into the captain's chair and let out an annoyed groan. "All that running for nothing" he mumbled to himself.

Chekov turned around in his chair. "Vhat vas zat kep-..." a slight blush paired with a look of great astonishment crossed the Russians face.

"What is it Chekov? Cat got your tongue?" Kirk asked playfully as a smirk played across his lips.

"You could say zat" the boy finally managed to choke out, quickly before making up an excuse to return to turn back to his work. Kirk noticed the teenager rapidly tapping away at his PADD, sending nervous glances at the Asian sitting next to him. After he hit what appeared to be the send button (Kirk had a pretty obstructed view of the device) he stopped sending the glances and just stared at man.

Swiveling his chair to see the helmsman more clearly, Kirk noticed an almost instant smile spread across Sulu's face, followed by a horribly covered up laugh.

"I know right" he whispered at the teenager, there was something humorous about this comment, that Kirk just didn't understand, that sent the two men into childish fits of giggles.

"Chekov, Sulu... It there something you would like to share with the class?"

"Nyet keptin" Chekov responded now seeming very embarrassed.

"Sulu?" he said shifting his gaze towards the helmsman.

"No, sir" the man replied, Kirk noticed he was sharing the same look of embarrassment as his younger friend.

As both men returned to their work Kirk began to ponder what could have caused the outbreak of laughter. Running a self conscious hand through his hair his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the turbolift doors opening. Kirk turned to see LT Uhura step out accompanied by McKenna and Riley.

"Sorry were late captain, these two" Uhura started gesturing towards the two men on either side of her, "Apparently don't know how an alarm works"

"overslept now did we?" Kirk asked trying not to sound annoyed. "Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov you're now free to go...get some sleep will you?"

"Thank you captain" Sulu replied as he pulled Chekov towards the turbolift.

Kirk could have sworn he heard the Russian apologize about some date, but he could have been wrong. He got up out of his chair and faced the two extremely late beta shift workers.

"Do you know where you're going? You better because there are better things I could be doing right now than babysitting you two. Get to your stations and try not to mess up this time please" Kirk said shifting his eyes from one man to another, he was quite surprised when neither of them moved but instead stood frozen in place with dumbstruck looks plastered on their faces.

"Hellooooo?" Kirk waved his hand in front of Riley's face, and snapped his fingers in front of McKenna's "Now!" he sternly said grateful that this time the two instantly scrambled to their respective seats and immediately went to work.

Kirk plopped down in his chair once again, a bit peeved at himself for being so rude to the two men. He sighed and called Uhura over.

"Yes captain?" she said as she strides over to his side.

He turned to look at her and began " Thank you for helping with these two, I swear if they get us to the wrong galaxy again I'm going to kill them both" he paused and looked at his communications officer who gave him an eyebrow raise that would have made Spock jealous.

"Sir...you…um" she started obviously trying to figure out how to tell the captain some piece of uneasy news.

"What is it Uhura?"

"Well sir, you look um"

Kirk cut her off. "I look what? All morning I've been getting stared at as if I had grown a third eye over night...just tell me Nyota!"

Uhura narrowed her eyes at the captain, she obviously wasn't very happy with his snappy response. "You just look tired that's all" she said stalking back to her station. "Sheesh"

The next few hours passed by with very little communication between anyone in the room, Kirk had begun to feel bad about the way he had responded to Uhura, but before he had a chance to apologize to her a voice spoke through the com, shattering the silence.

"Sickbay to Captain Kirk" the voice of the CMO rang thought the com.

"Captain Kirk here, what's up Bones"

"I need to talk to you right this instant Jim"

"Why what's up? Is something wrong, who's hurt?"

"No, no one is hurt, It's just very important I speak with you..." the doctors voice sounded urgent even through the com.

"Just tell me what's up" Kirk responded angrily.

"Oh for the love of...look at your shirt Jim"

"Look...at my shirt? What the hell bones?" Kirk responded questioning the doctor's orders

"Dammit just do it!"

Kirk took his friends advice and looked down at his shirt. He didn't see anything wrong with it, regulation pin, rank stripes, the sleeves seemed to be a bit longer than usual but other than that it was a perfectly normal medical issue uniform shirt. That's when it his him. It was a medical shirt; bright blue instead of his command yellow.

"Oh fuck!" Kirk yelled leaping out of his chair. That's why everyone had been staring at him, he had mistakenly pulled on McCoy's shirt instead of his own in his rush to get ready this morning.

"Yeah Jim, oh fuck, is the appropriate response" McCoy sounded really really pissed off. "Now get your ass down here!"

"Gha!" Kirk yelled again, spinning on his heels to look at his communications officer, who was now laughing so hard she was crying.

"Uhura!" he yelled.

"Y-yes captain?" she replied through fits of giggles.

"What do I do?" he said, sounding frantic and freaked out.

"well captain the way I see it you can either take the shirt off and walk shirtless to sick bay, or you can keep it on and go, but either way you're going to be walking out of here with McCoy's shirt in your possession"

Kirk took one more glance down at his shirt, suddenly realizing that he had forgotten his undershirt as well. _Wonderful._"Well that's just great...wait, when do shift changes start?"

As soon as the smile spread even further across the girls face, Kirk knew the answer.

"Well, Captain. They start riiiiiiiight..." she trailed the word long enough to make Kirk want to scream. "Now"

"Great!" Kirk yelled throwing his hands in the air. At that moment Kirk knew he had to make a decision before his alpha team began streaming onto the bridge, with the possible exception of a teenager and his Asian friend.

Uhura simply stood, extremely amused as Kirk stepped towards the turbolift, pulled up his shirt halfway up then forcefully yanked it back down and started back towards his captain's chair. This caused him to swear and start the whole process over again. Uhura glanced over at McKenna and Riley, their eyes darting from her to each other to the captain so fast it looked like they were watching some sort of deranged tennis match. She let the captain perform his uncertain 'dance' a few times over before she finally stopped him.

"Captain!" she said pulling on the man's shoulder leading him to her workstation where she forced him into a chair. "Just make up your mind! Shirt or no shirt!"

"But!" the captain protested, burying his head in his hands once more.

"No buts! Now either take the shirt off or don't but if you get caught in here with 12 other people who don't know the explanation behind you wearing doctor McCoy's shirt, it's going to make it awkward for everyone..." she lowered her voice and leaned in, hoping to shield her voice from McKenna and Riley "From what I recall you've only told a handful of people about your um...relationship"

Uhura managed to pull "I guess you're right" from the mumbled mass of words the captain was currently speaking into his hands.

Kirk stood and glanced at McKenna, causing the ensign to quickly turn back to his station. "You know I could just take his shirt" he said pointing at the young man. "I am the captain after all."

"Jim!" Uhura sternly glared at the captain. "You got yourself into this mess and now you're getting yourself out of it!"

"Yes mother" he said sending a grin at the woman sitting in front of him.

"Go!"

Sighing once more and finally coming to a conclusion, Jim Kirk swallowed his pride and pulling the medical issue uniform shirt over his head, he stepped into the turbolift.

As the door swooshed shut behind her captain, Uhura mumbled to herself "This is going to be weirder than Sulu fencing shirtless in the halls"

**X X X**

With his best friend shirt slung over his shoulder, Jim Kirk was getting some extremely odd looks from everyone he passed in the halls; the men he seemed to pass all had the same reaction: one of extreme concussion and slight amusement. The women on the other hand had a completely different reaction to their shirtless captain. Many went out of their way to stop and stare. Wide eyed, blushing and smiling: That's how all the female staff seemed to look that morning.

Kirk had managed to stand his ground and keep calm; that is until he ran into someone he was actually friends with. An engineer by the name of Montgomery Scott.

"Laddy!" Scotty called after the captain. "What's this now? Is that bloody uniform generator messed up again? I've been trying to fix them, it's pretty funny you know, the other day ensign Thomas was getting skirts and blouses in his...that man was damn mad, trying to fix it himself, ended up getting himself shocked to high heaven with the wiring...I've been meaning to fix his...and now yours is acting up too eh?"

Kirk just stopped and stared. There he was walking around shirtless with the CMOs shirt and Scotty was just chatting about broken generators. It was sort of a nice change for Kirk, he mentally reminded himself to thank the Scotsman later.

"Yes!" Kirk shouted grabbing Scotty by the shoulders and smiling. "That's exactly what's wrong! The generator is busted! Fix it! Please!" he gave the man another smile and darted around the corner.

"Aye Sir!" Scotty called after him, but the boy was already gone.

Kirk stepped into sickbay expecting the worst taunting from McCoy, but much to his confusion McCoy was nowhere in sight.

"Nurse Chapel?" he called into the almost empty sickbay.

"Yes captain?" came a voice from behind him, he turned and was greeted by a petite blonde woman, she had a smile on that made Kirk blush. She gave him a once over and began walking towards a biobed.

"No no no no no no" Kirk protested. "I'm not sick I'm just looking for-"

Chapel cut him off. "Dr. McCoy. I know he's in his office. We have other patients you know" she said giving him a wink before walking off. Kirk did a once over of the sick bay, no one else was in there. He sighed and went to find Bones.

"Bones!" he called standing in front of Mccoy's closed office door. "Now it's your turn, get your ass out here!"

"No!" a southern voice yelled from the other side of the door.

"Why?" Before Kirk could punch in the code to open the door, it opened from the inside. It reavealed a gold clad arm, obviously bent on dragging him into the office; which it succeeded at.

"Because I look like an idiot" McCoy stated, folding his arms across his chest.

The two men took a moment to take in the sight of each other. McCoy was standing awkwardly in Kirks gold command shirt; sleeves pushed up to his elbows. Kirk stood opposite the man grinning like a madman with his hands on his hips.

"You're in my shirt." Kirk said pulling at the shirts sleeve. "Why?"

McCoy slapped the captain's hand away and scowled at the boy. "Because" he started. "My uniform generator is broken, just like everything else in my god damn room"

"I suppose I should have seen this coming when the lights didn't work" Kirk said sitting on the doctor's desk. "You know, gold's a good color for you bones" he said smirking.

"Oh save it and give me back my shirt" McCoy said reaching for his own shirt, which was currently slung around the captain's neck.

"nope, I want mine back first"

"Jim I swear if you don't give me back my shirt right now..."

The captain simply stuck his tongue out at the fuming doctor.

"That's it...I'm going to kill you." the CMO said lunging at the younger man.

Kirk made an attempt to dodge the doctor but ended up sprawled on the floor instead. Scrambling to make it look like he had intended on being on the ground Kirk folded his arms behind his head and shut his eyes, trying to look relaxed.

"I told you, you aren't any fun when you're tired" he said opening one eye and lifting his head to look at the still angry doctor, who was now the one sitting on the desk.

McCoy stood and strode over to where Kirk was laying on the floor. He held out his hand and spoke "Shirt. Now"

Kirk shook his head.

Sighing McCoy got on the floor placing his knees on either side of the younger mans hips. "Jim" he warned once more.

"Nope"

"Fine you've brought me to this you little punk"

"Ooooooooohhhh I'm so scared bones what-" Kirk taunted before he was cut off for what seemed the millionth time that day. This time he was pleasantly surprised at the thing cutting him off, the doctor had placed his hands on either side of the young captain's face and planted a rough kiss on the boy's lips.

Now that the captain was otherwise preoccupied, McCoy moved his fingers from the side of Kirks face down and around his neck until he had a hold of his own shirt. After sliding it out from under the man, McCoy pulled away from Kirk and leapt up.

He then proceeded to yank off the command shirt and throw it in the face of the stunned captain still lying on the floor. McCoy tugged his shirt down his chest and opened the door, smiling as Jim scrambled to his feet and pulled on the command shirt.

"What was that for?" Kirk asked in a slightly dazed voice.

"Well it was the only way to get my shirt back from you, you stubborn idiot" McCoy said leaning against the door frame.

"No no no, not the kiss. However, that was nice...but you threw my shirt in my face! I didn't get to see you get dressed" Kirk replied, a look of fake hurt crossing the man's face.

McCoy sighed and gave the boy a once over. "You're hopeless Jim" he said before shutting the door in the captain's face.

Kirk stood standing at the door, sort of in shock that he just got a door slammed in his face (not that one could really slam and automatic door). Opening the door he poked his head out and yelled, "Yeah but you like it and you know it!" taking a moment to look at the sickbay he realized it was now full of patients, nurses and various other doctors; all staring at their supposedly "sane" captain. Kirk smiled and stepped out of McCoy's office, a sheepish grin spreading across face.

"Uh...carry on" he managed to choke out.

Walking towards the trubolift doors he passed by Chekov and Sulu who both seemed to be in great deals of pain.

"What's up with you two?" he questioned.

Sitting on biobeds next to each other they shared a glance and turned to look at their captain.

"The beds were too far apart so we..." Sulu started.

Kirk threw his hands up in mock surrender. "You know what? After the day I've had. I don't want to know."

Sulu blushed and looked down. "Thank you sir"

**X X X**

Back on the bridge Kirk sat in his chair and smiled to himself. The alpha shift was half an hour from being over and he couldn't be happier. He was already thinking about sleep, or the lack of, that he was going to get when the shift ended and he was able to get dinner with his favorite doctor. He was happy in his little day dream until a voice from behind startled him.

"Captain" the voice stated.

Kirk looked up and saw the calculating face of his first officer.

"Yes Spock?"

"I would like to inform you that your shirt is on backwards"

**The thought of this made me laugh for longer than I would care to admit. **

**Comments/critiques are welcome.**

**Omg so it was recently brought to my attention that I had mixed up "turbolift" and "transporter" Thank you so much to Ann who brought it up. **

**I was planning on re-uploading this anyway because I found soooo many typos and weird words, but it makes me feel better to make things more accurate. **


End file.
